LEATHERHEAD PARISH CHURCH

Horace Wright CBE MC MM 1916-2000

The full recording of Alison’s Memorial Service is now available please click here
It has been made possible thanks to John Swanson, Churchwarden:
'Although the quality is a bit dodgy in places it is still a
worthwhile way of revisiting Alison's service'.

Alison's life was celebrated in a packed Leatherhead Parish Church,
the doors left open and our masks little daunting the heart we put into our singing.

WELCOME AND OPENING PRAYER

Canon David Eaton:

May I warmly welcome you this afternoon's service. We have come together to remember Alison  with much love and thanksgiving.

There are some introductory sentences.

We meet in the name of Jesus Christ who died and  was raised to the glory of God the Father. May grace and mercy be with you.

We look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen; for the things that are seen are transient but the things that are unseen are eternal. 

Today we come together  to remember before God Catherine Alison Wright, to give thanks for her life and to comfort one another in our grief. Father in heaven we praise your name for all who have finished this life, loving and trusting in you. For the example of their lives, the life and grace you gave them and the peace within which they rest.

We pray to you today for your servant Alison and for all that you did through her.

Meet us in our sadness and fill our hearts with praise and thanksgiving for the sake of our risen Lord Jesus Christ. Amen

I think you will know that we are now singing in church but with masks, for all the obvious reasons. With that constraint may I ask you to sing lustily, with all your might.

HYMN - CWM RHONDDA

Guide me, O thou great Redeemer, pilgrim through this barren land; I am weak, but thou art mighty; hold me with thy powerful hand: bread of heaven, bread of heaven, feed me now and evermore, feed me now and evermore. Open now the crystal fountain, whence the healing stream doth flow; let the fire and cloudy pillar lead me all my journey through: strong deliverer, strong deliverer, be thou still my strength and shield; be thou still my strength and shield.

When I tread the verge of Jordan, bid my anxious fears subside; death of death, and hell's destruction, land me safe on Canaan's side: songs of praises, songs of praises, I will ever give to thee, I will ever give to thee.

BIBLE READING

Read by Amanda Smith
Matthew 5: 1-12

Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down.
His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them. He said:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.    

Some of the family flowers

TRIBUTE
David Gordon

I’m going to tell you what a few other people have said about Mum and then I’m going to tell you what I think about her.

I think the most telling statement about Mum is the sheer volume of people who’ve been genuinely and deeply upset by her passing. 

We’ve received dozens and dozens of heartfelt letters with an outpouring of love and affection.  Here are just some random phrases:

The kindest person I ever met. 
She was a collector of people who loved her dearly. 
Alison was good with animals and good with people.  Kind and generous and fun to be with. 
A very special person; lively, entertaining and very knowledgeable. 
I really lost a beautiful, kind, pure-hearted person, I will never meet anyone like her. 

You get the message.

I know I’m biased but this is a very special person we’re here for.

Perhaps it’s my failing that I never stopped to think about this, but ALL of Mum’s many activities had ONE common thread running through them: they all involved helping other people. 

All the committees she sat on, the Hospital Taxi Service, the Geology lectures, the Poppy Appeal, all the work with Prideaux House in Hackney, the two minibuses she owned at one point, were ALL about making other people’s lives better.  And there’s so much more.

I know Chris is going to talk more about these things, but Mum was a catalyst, she made stuff happen and it was always about helping other people.

This general attitude is reflected in the letters we received. The word kindness comes up pretty much in every letter. But it wasn’t just kindness.  Mum also had a real joie de vivre and as far as I’m concerned, a delicious attitude towards raising children (which is just as well).

Mum liked to let things flow, didn’t make a fuss about a scraped knee. Honourable Scars she called them. The question she asked herself was ‘is it going to kill or maim? If not, screw it, let it happen’.  I love her so much for that and I’m more grateful than words can say, it’s shaped my life.

Of course you won’t find her now-famous method of  ‘teaching a child to swim’ in any coaching manual ... the idea of just throwing them in at the deep end seemed so … passively benign to Mum. Well, I won't go into details - and no-one drowned.

Then, of course there was the famous day of the Pompeii exhibition in the 70s when she took five young children to London and came back with three.  My earliest memory of the London Underground is standing at the top of a massive long escalator trying to persuade my Mother not to slide down the central reservation to go and find them!

Life did throw some curve balls but everything she did had a sense of fun and joie de vivre about it.  Mum dedicated several years of her life to looking after my Gran [Mary Morgan-Owen]; I wonder how many other 100 year olds go on holiday in an old motor-home?  Racing over level crossings as the barriers came down - during mealtime. 

As a pensioner, in winters, when it was icy and dangerous on the roads, Mum used to go to deserted car parks, whizzing around doing handbrake turns and even donuts.  Which various elderly passengers apparently found very exciting.  My life has been so much better with this constant infusion of positive energy. She was made of the right stuff.

Throughout her life, Mum was always very active; she sprinted for Scottish Universities, she had trials for Wales at hockey and following in the footsteps of her grandfather, a founder of Bull Bay Golf Club, she was very useful on a golf course.  In later years she was also Surrey’s oldest shepherdess.  She was very good at it, too.

But in all of her activities and daily life, there was this sense of fun.  But above all, love and kindness.  And that’s Mum’s special gift to Mike and I. 

We never had to think about it because it was always there, throughout our lives.  And her injection of vitality and urgency, to live life to the full, to make the most of this amazing gift of life.  Her favourite lesson to me, that I always hold dear, she got from one of the French philosophers, who said “Life is like sand falling between your fingers, you must hold on”  “Attendez” (I guess he said it in French).  That’s what she always used to say; “Attendez!”

I think life hasn’t always been easy for Mum, but the lessons she taught me and the love she unfailingly bestowed on Mike and I have been such a gift.  I’m so proud of her.

Anyone who spoke with Mum recently will know that she very quickly came to terms with her fate, she was ready and prepared to ‘get to the party’ as she put it.  While our world has just become a little duller and less jolly, but perhaps more on time, the hidden party around us will now be in full swing with her arrival.  My own heartbreak is tempered by the thought that whilst Mum used to be with me only sometimes, now she’s with me all the time. 

We will always love her and will always be so grateful to have had her as our Mother.

MUSIC

Suo Gan - traditional Welsh Lullaby
Played by Hedley Kay

                            David Eaton explained that it had been Hedley's dearest wish to be present to play this
but he had just tested positive for COVID. He might well be looking in.
Nothing daunted we were and are nevertheless
able to see and hear Hedley playing, thanks to technology.

Please click here for Hedley's recording. It starts at 18:40 

TRIBUTE
Christopher Hodson [Chris died on 29 February 2024 - please click here for his page]

Michael, David and I have been delighted with the letters and cards with their attention to the lovely, intelligent and generous aspects of Alison's life, but this is not a life history.  More a peep into what she was up to that made so many of us amazed and delighted by her presence, her warmth and her friendships.

The Alison we all knew and loved arrived in Leatherhead in 1968.  My wife Marilyn was the first person to knock on the door and they hit it off immediately. Marilyn had become the editor of The Rock, the Roman Catholic Parish Magazine and Alison helped with the editorial and printing of it.

Very soon Alison became an enthusiastic member of the Cross Keys, a four-sided social club of United Reformed, Methodists, Anglicans and Catholics.  Her active life kept her fit by cycling everywhere in the area. 

However in her early days as a mother, her life was blighted by epileptic fits. These caused considerable trouble for quite a while and prevented her from having a licence to drive cars.  By better medical care over the next few years, her fits were gradually mastered by two sympathetic specialists at Epsom and changes in the law.  From there on, her driving life was transformed and played a big part in many new activities.

As soon as she was free to drive, she said “I must do this the proper way” and she went to the Institute of Advanced Motorists in Guildford for proper tuition.  This was perfect for her.  No sooner had she passed their Advisor Test than she was invited to train as an Instructor in Guildford and was constantly on hand for many years.

Two years ago she was offered the Vice Presidency but that would have denied her the chance to help others as a trainer, so she didn’t accept it.

For many years she ran a camping van in which her mother enjoyed trips. She also ran a Daihatsu Terrier - very useful for later assisting Amanda [with the sheep].

Purchasing a minibus was an important step towards helping others. Many trips were to take British Legion members out for enjoyable trips. She was still subject to epileptic fits but she recruited drivers and assisted drivers to be trained and let them take groups. One such was for the transport for other guests to go to the wedding of my son and daughter-in-law in Waterloo in Belgium - they are here today with their children.

She regularly loaned it to groups of trainees for the priesthood to visit the battlefields of Northern France and Belgium and never charged to make a profit.

She organised luncheon trips for those in the area to go to pubs and other places in Surrey and Sussex and from her early days in Bookham she assisted groups of former servicemen in the British Legion. Years later she took over the Poppy Day collections in Bookham and Fetcham. 

Her skill with motoring made her a natural to help with the Leatherhead & Fetcham Voluntary Car Service of lifts to each of our local hospitals.  She negotiated with the company holding the parking fee collection franchise.  She did many trips for those in need and spent much time allocating lifts for others on a rota of four.

These are just some of her public life aspects.  A big one was on the horizon, Hackney.

In the mid 1980s, our then Vicar, the Rev Sandy Morris, received a letter from the Rev Gualter de Mello explaining the needs of Hackney and asking for his help with the poor and the immigrants in that Borough which Gualter was working on at Prideaux House.  Friends of Alison, including Shuja Shaik, former mayor of Hackney were hoping to be here today but have been prevented by the effects of COVID. 

Much ‘stuff’ was easily found in Leatherhead and taken to support the charity, which had a shop for second hand goods in Hackney.  Horace almost immediately bought a small van to simplify this new connection with Hackney.  Needless to say, Alison was in her element and became a regular friend to the charity run by Gualter. Many friends were made and were kept with the work of the charity for many years. 

Suffice to say that the friendships led to a delighted Alison visiting Montserrat in the West Indies with some of the survivors from the loss of their island, from Hackney 10 years after the volcanic eruption.

What escapes from duty did she have?

• the biggest one was sheep care and training her border collies to learn the sheepdog practice, under the tutelage of Amanda Smith, who did the first reading.  Amanda’s good teaching was rewarded by years of help and fun in having another family as Alison was able to enjoy being a local surrogate grandma to Luke and Ryan, who are here today.
  
  
  
  the sheep wreath was four times bigger than expected
  - just the thing to have delighted Alison
    
• another escape was Geology.   First of all she attended a course in Dorking, then she joined the Mole Valley Geological Society. She didn’t have a geology degree but was to become the nominal Vice President (Catering) (where I was to become her sub) until COVID 19.  It was the nearest thing to fun where we worked together preparing refreshments for 40-70 people!
   
  
• Bridge.  Later in her life, she very much enjoyed renewing her bridge playing with members of the U3A in Dorking.  Several of her friends are with us today.
   
  
• Beading. She joined the Wholly Beaders here in the parish though it was for the company, as her eyesight wouldn’t allow her to bead.
   
  
• Racing. Yes, she had accounts with two firms of bookies and loved racing with the help of excellent tipsters for many years. One firm of bookies even closed her account as she was so successful. When she eventually ran out of the winnings she had piled up, she stopped betting altogether immediately, saying “I’m only continuing if I lose THEIR money.  Not mine.”
   
  
• She re-founded the parish magazine as the email based Leatherhead Parish Bulletin, a role now taken on by Frank Haslam, our tech wizard.
   
  
• She became such a friend of Helena Hill (Anthony Hill's wife)  that she risked just one year of her life sharing with Helena the Churchwardenship of this parish.
  

What I also know about is the personal kindness she showed to others she found in need. Their positions are private but it has made me very proud to be able to see what she did or planned to do.  She frequently helped people financially whenever she saw a need.  No wonder so many people have written to speak of her kindness. 

She was so pleasant to meet, with such a beautiful smile.

As Alison began to use the expression about catching a train to join the Lord, she often remembered how when Horace died, Chris Stagg had said “yes, and he sent a Pullman.” 

We can enjoy it now and thank the Lord for a life which made other lives happier and more enjoyable.

READING
A letter to you
Read by Linda Gordon.

This is a letter written by her son Michael to Alison in early August this year and is read by Michael's wife Linda.

Dear Mam, Thank you for giving me the time and the opportunity to write this letter to you, something Linda bitterly regrets not having the chance to do with her Dad. Sorry it has taken this long to feel the need to do so. Thank you for not ringing me in the car the other day. You were so wise to trust Linda to pass on your news, bless her. Sorry for getting cross at you for not ringing back - Your ears must have been burning! Thank you for all you have done for me, from bringing me into the world, to giving me the space to make my own way in it. Sorry I have never really said "Thank You" properly until now. Thank you for the music, the songs I'm singing. Sorry, I really cannot sing!! Thank you for making me independent. Sorry I moved so far away (especially at times like this!) Thank you for asking me to make a speech at your 70th birthday party. Sorry I took the Mickey so much (with hindsight there was no need to mention Jimmy Saville, although I was proud of the marriage counsellor/divorce gag). Thank you for not losing me at Oxford Circus that day. Sorry for reminding Leatherhead of those less fortunate who were "misplaced" at your party 35 years later. Thank you for cherishing all of my children, whether they call you Granny or Aunty Alison. Thank you for seeing how much I love Linda, and the life we have made together in beautiful North Northumberland. Sorry you couldn't have come and seen more of what we have done to the place. Thank you for not opening that letter from Durham Constabulary. Sorry I had to give them my home address! Thank you for the time we spent together recently, firstly in the Cotswolds and then at David's Houseboat/Treehouse rehearsal in Richmond. Sorry those days could not last longer. Thank you for not asking me to read this at your funeral. Sorry, but I really don't think I could finish it. Thanks For everything All my love Michael xxx

Frank Haslam: After Margaret Jones, the gallant editor of the Leatherhead Parish Magazine retired for the third and final time in December 2018, Alison and I had conversations about our concern that part of what kept the parish informed and together was being lost at a critical time. The assembling, production, delivery and management of advertising and subscriptions for the printed parish magazine was a considerable task. But if nothing was done, did we really want to see end of well over a century of this service to the community?    Several weeks later she thanked me for reminding her of the ideas we had come up with. Hectic days were spent putting together the first issue of the free, paid advertising free, email-delivered Leatherhead Parish Bulletin in March 2019. Alison did her well known persuading of sources to come up with content. She also scoured the internet and her Inbox for local news items and things that made her laugh. I did the sub-editing, layout and the techie stuff. The number of those requesting the Bulletin quickly grew among church and town, the latter now almost as numerous as the former. She was very kind in her thanks that I had sufficiently got the hang of things to take on her editorial role as her health began to give way. I never got round to asking her if her car's number plate was concidence or chosen to commemorate Alison [and] Horace Wright ... We'd known each other for 42 years. She had moved from Nor-Ven in Bookham to just round the corner in Box Cottage. I'll miss the banter and her dry wit. Thank you Alison for being you.

Chris and Alison at Alison's 70th Birthday Party in the Parish Hall November 2012

Brian & Ros Hennegan: Ros and I remember Alison when her lads were young and she lived in Church Walk. Ros was the Akela of the 5th Leatherhead (All Saints) Cub Pack, and was one of the first female leaders (Cub Mistresses back in the day), certified to take Cubs camping under canvas. The 8th had no one ‘certified’ so they joined the 5th for ‘canvas camps’, hence the initial intro to Alison as a parent.
 
Alison and I used to ring ‘up the tower’. Campanologists is too fine a word for us. In our ‘time out’ we would talk about many things (in suitably hushed terms you understand!). She was full of fun and amusing stories were never far from her lips. Alan [Smith] or Peter [Ford] would, at times, look over to ‘our corner’, Alison and I feeling suitably chastised.